I am on my second day of my menstruation cycle, and it still hurts like hell!! I am 27 and my puberty was during I was in Form 1 which is like 15 years ago. With each period cycle, I lost one ovum. I have had a very regular cycle, never missed one, as far as I can remember. So to-date I have wasted approx. 180 eggs in total....
I have always wanted to have big family (means lotsa kids..) and by the looks of it, I will be wasting I don't know how many ovum that potentially could be one of my kids. If only I have a donor (which is not allowed in Islam anyway). In a woman's life, she is estimated to produce ~400 ovums upon puberty right until she reached menopause. Which means I still have like 220 ovums allocated for me.
Counting this to the number of years, (if I keep on wasting it) I will be getting into menopause in 18 years time. Oh how I wish I find the right one (and him to find me too) to have family together and I would like to join the production line ASAP..so that my ovum will not be wasted anymore.
Ya Allah, show the right path to me as I do not have the strength to go for any man-hunt for this mission. Let the man you chose for me, accept me the way I am and me too. Let us be united because of you Allah....
....Amin....
I guess by now nobody reads this, so it is my solitude site...
Updates, my father is diagnosed with hepatitis, not sure which type but according to my mother it is chronic..I googled and found out that Hepatitis B can be contracted via sharing the same needle, sexual intercourse and some other ways that is the normal route for HIV to enter the body as well. It is 100X more easily to contract than HIV itself. Now I fear for my mom...
I do expect he will be hit will these kind of disease before he died, and even thought that it is better if he just fall sick, and I can hire people to take care of him and wait for him to die. At least he is not running around trying to find drugs anymore. Every cloud has a silver lining...this is one of the cloud, yet to wait for the silver lining to surface.
The rest of my siblings did not know abt this yet...let it be. I will be able to provide financial help considering I have a sound income now. I am going to put all the things in the past aside, doesn't mean that I can be on good terms with him. I know for sure I am in no position to forgive anybody but at least I am opening my heart to help him....Ya Allah...let me be strong.
My own life, there is nothing to update, I am pretty much the same, my weight haven't change that much. I am more busy than ever, running around and since I am single, nothing much to do except work.
I fear that I will end up living alone, which I am not sure how I would feel. Right now I am loving the freedom of living alone, the fact that I can do anything that I like without having ppl to consult to...
But in 2-3 years time, when all of my friend is married, I have nobody to turn to, no one to hang out with, and no travel buddies, and I must learn to face this world alone...and that is trully reflects that NOBODY'S HERE.
