~hitam putih kehidupan~

things that i never will be able to tell face to face to a single soul, yes, i am a coward, unable to express myself, so?

Assalamualaikum, how are you?

By the time you read this probably dah raya ke berapa ntah. Takpela, janji wish jugak, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Aku nak mintak maaf andai ada terkasar bahasa, tersilap kata dan semua yang 'ter' la...

Remember there was one time that I said, I probably won't be contacting you again, if I have found 'the one'?. Well I did. Aku tak pernah terfikir, tapi once I realise, He was there all along, irregardless aku ingat Dia ke tak. Mungkin apa yang aku cakap ni agak lapuk, Allah ada bersama-sama kita setiap masa. And this Ramadhan, I concluded, He's the one. I am not going to wait for any other human being, but rather give myself completely to Allah.

Kat sini (I mean here in the office) we had few programs during Ramadhan, which include discuss pasal tafsir Al-Quran, discuss detail sirah Rasulullah and also tazkirah during Solat Jumaat. These sort of things make me realise, kecilnya aku di bumi Allah ni....banyak sangat nikmat yang aku tak bersyukur.

Jadi aku decide, segala luahan hati sepatutnya hanya pada Allah, kita sesama manusia tak ada daya nak tolong manusia lain melainkan dengan izin Allah, so why waste the direct contact that we have with Allah and set our hopes high with a mere mortal.

I may not be writing to you as much as I do right now. In case you are wondering how am I doing, I have alternate blog, dah tak update frenster blog,

http://xxxxyyyyy.blogspot.com/

Last but not least, take care ;)

Wassalam..

I watched this movie last night, and it reminds me a lot about Shahrul. I know there is no freaking chance that I will be with him, unless Allah says so. But I could not stop missing him and all the memories that we have together, it might not be much but its enough for me to live my life and know how bad it hurts to be in unrequinted love.

This Ramadhan I prayed for many things, one of which for Allah to erase all this feeling to be with somebody, this longing to be loved by someone or this desire for companionship. To have it all wiped off my heart and mind for as long as I can remember, that is unless Allah decides to send someone for me. I will pray for a soulmate but until then I hope I can annihilate all this feelings, until then.......


p/s: I like the photo shoot at the end of the movie, want to have that with you

What you'll find here

Space to vent and to let out things that I can never share with any living things (human). I am not an animal person, so cat will not help ;p.

Personal experience and hopes, wishes and gratitudes and always reality that bites hard will be pen down and shared with anyone who cares to read.

Lavender is....

My photo
born Muslim and trying hard to live like one as well. overweight physically and have been trying since forever to loose weigtht. loner and eventhough with a group of friends, will not say much unless asked. never been the centre of attention (apart from my figure that really stoods out!!) never been in serious relationship before due to the fact that I am not pretty and fat and not friendly. having said that a really good fren and damn good supporter.