For the past few days I have been crying every night. be it because of a movie, during prayer, or when I was reading old post that I have written in my journal for the past few years.
It hurts, somehow I am getting more sensitive nowadays. Each small little things can make me shed a tear. I don't want to be weak. They say it good to cry but if its too often what good does it make?
I just hope that I can be stronger and not easily touched by all these small stuffs. I have to!! I am living this life alone and I have to be prepared for this....Ya Allah, please make me strong, give me enough strength to get through my life..
Posted by
Lavender
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Posted by
Lavender
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Was with my girlfrens last weeked. Saturday was Shaz's bday and Sunday was some schoolmate's wedding. Somehow Elaine ask me about 'the letter thingy'.
Elaine: So what's the update?
Me: Nothing, he didn't respond..
Elaine: How do you feel?
Me: Ehm....
Elaine: Tak frust ke?
Me: Sikit la..
Elaine: Sikit je?
Me: I guess...I think he's too nice guy, mean he won't bring that up if at all he is not available...but I'm quite sure he's not married.
Elaine: I think he's involved with someone..
Me: It's a good thing that I met him, it sort of give us hope, ade lagi orang baik macam ni....(sigh...)
That's it. To be honest I am sad, frustrated but I learned to deal with this even before I knew the answers. Bet you if anybody ever expressed their interest in me, I would be damn thrilled and would probably reduced to tears..not kidding.
I know for a fact nobody that I know has ever had any desire on me, even if I find one, I would be very grateful.
