I have issues. I am lonely but for now am pretty sure I will be like this forever, pretty much very sure.
See, I was working past 4 days, and believe it or not, spend quite an amount of time inside (CCB) one particular person that I spend most of my time with, is Khairul. And I enjoyed his company, what is wrong with me? he's married!!! I seem to like married ppl nowadays.
Well, not many ppl talk to me eventhough I am the only girl inside for the past few days, and he was always talk to me when I go in. I noticed that he looks to my face quite often, which I don't think anybody ever do it. Although I didn;t really speak to him the way I used to talk with Shahrul, I like his company. So imagine spending almost 16 hrs of the day (2 days) with him in my sight, it does makes me go crazy. And he was on leave yesterday, today he is in, but I stopped going in already, just stay put at my place. I called the panel without any expectation, but he picks up, suddenly I realised, I missed being inside CCB with him....oh what is wrong with me?
I think if only he was not married, we will have a good chance to being a couple. And NO, I am not going to pursue a married man. Its just that I feel comfortable with him, I laughed at his joke, he laughed at mine. Basically, if it wasn't for him, I think none of the rest will speak to me. This is dead wrong.....seriously wrong....and I hate myself for feeling this.
Ya Allah, tolong...please send someone to me, someone that will find happiness being with me and I will find happiness with him, someone that is not affliated to any other person, Ya Allah, I am begging you, please help me......
I have another blog, where I put most of my daily encounters, things that ticks me, experiences, etc... This one I have never published anywhere, and I will never will.
Yesterday a trainee asked me why I hate Chelsea, I was like what??? and then he told me he read my blog. I don't know how in the hell he ends up there. I mean he wasn't even in my FB or FS list. Its kinda creepy and flattering at the same time. Seriously, on one hand I have more readers (not that I am aiming for it anyway) and on the other hand, I actually have people around me reading my thoughts and sometimes, my vents. Well, I don't plan to privatise, so I have to be extra carefull on putting things there from now on. You never know who will be reading it. Unlike this blog, I have not told a single soul that I have this alternate outlet. Not going to....
So you lucky readers (if at all there is any...) I will publish my alternate blog, just so you have an idea what my other thoughts are all about. Maybe after 2-3 months, I'll change this link again...hahahaha.....my blog, I can do whatever I want, and its a broad cyberspace out here.....
