Enough about me and him (yang memang sampai kapan pon tak jadik...) Now all of this will be about me.
I live with a housemate but we could go on for days without exchanging a single word. I normally don't tell her stuffs and she normally did not too. We respect each others spaces and I guess that is the reason why I feel so lonely. I never had a 'kepochi' in my life. Nobody has been busybody enough to dig what am I feeling, yada..yada...So I have gotten used to just shut up and keep all bottled up inside.
I think I can go on for days without any people calling me, or SMS me.
Well, I am pledging to let it all out here. If I don't have anybody, I know Allah is there, always, and the fact that Allah created the genius mind to come up with this, is also another way out.
So how do I feel today? Better than yesterday, but could have been better.
Anything I would like to share? I know some people are keeping their disctance from me. Prove that I am in the bottom of their list, accepting the fact. I never question people's motive to be friend with me, (aku bukan Britney or Miley) but when people start shutting me out, I fell apart all over again. I seemed to be not learning that in the end, its me alone against the world. So why bother when people start alienating me?
What I should do better next working day? (hari biasa, I pretty much on top of my day, but lately my work performance has been deteriorating quite bad)
Maybe sebab endless family issue, maybe because I am slacking off, maybe because I am a spinster, but all of that is no reason to do bad in my job. After all, I still have family to take care of. So next Monday, I hope I can do better. How? I just have to keep focus on job at hand.
Backlogs, I know that is a lot. But let me deal with this first OK? I know people here don't like me because I am not a good worker anyway. I hope I can do better, I really do. I promise myself to do better.
I guess that is it for today, till then...daa...
Posted by
Lavender
