Based on the IPF ranking I did better than last year, but not much better though. Upon more talking with my SV, I realised they penalized me for the mistakes I did in 2009, which I paid a hefty sum on that particular year. Again they use the same point to deny my rights to a better ranking this year. I am pissed, not so much on the ranking, but more of the reason that they used. They can give a low IPF for all I care, but please la, make it fair and square.
Last week I was driven the most. I went to morning meeting almost everyday, I think I did OK, well at least better than the rest of the last year. I realised that almost the whole week that past, I was really hating something or somebody. I was like on revenge mission last week. I was determined and in a way that helped me a lot last week. So if I want to keep the momentum, do I have to keep on hating people? I think I should...hahahaha.....
I have been compared to another person for the past one year. We are doing the same job but on different unit. I know that she is much better than I am. She is seen to be the only one doing the job. While yours truly is seen to be sinking down day by day...Now how do I compete with someone who has a laptop and able to reply to email on Sunday afternoon? My laptop was taken back to reduce cost, besides, I think I can pretty much justify to get a replacement, but what is the point? Do I want to reply email while I was supposed to be lazing around on a Sunday afternoon? I don't think so.
So how do I compete, and yet maintain my social freedom for now? I don't know, but for now I have to renew my anger on weekly basis so that I can do my work better. That should be it, anger drives me, I am screwed......
Posted by
Lavender
