~hitam putih kehidupan~

things that i never will be able to tell face to face to a single soul, yes, i am a coward, unable to express myself, so?

Its been a while since I last pour my heart out in this column...I seriously don't know what I am busy with. TA is coming yet again!! and to my horror suprised, Azhani, is one of the main contractor that I will be seeing again this year!! Yes, we keep seeing the same people over and over again.

I have to keep telling myself, for what its worth, do not think about it anymore. I have more important things to do. I am not worthy of any man's love, at least not yet. So why bother? I have to concentrate on my work. Do better, and try to get out of this place in 2 years time, seriously....

Nowadays I am religiously watching this one sinetron, Kemilau Cinta Kamila. Its a normal sinetron, with cute actress and all, but what I like the most is that both the main cast is committed to each other without realising their true feeling towards one another, and of course, there was LOTSS of hugging scene, which I loike!!! Seeing them hug, I now know my preference, I like tall guy..so that when we hug, I can rest comfortably on his chest. But this preference is an issue to me, because you see, my height is 162-163 cm, which is slightly above the average height of many women. Man, I am as tall as most of my male colleague...so for me to get a tall guy, they would have to be a rare species, not many that is running around that I see.

When I look at Fadil and Kamila, it just reaffirms my believe that one most single affectionate act ever, is hugging....really. A hug can melt all the sorrow, all the pain and agony that you have been carrying thus far. Not only on bad days, good occasions are good reasons to hug as well. And what better way to ask for forgiveness rather that hug it out? Nada....

So there it is, me and my dreams, whether or not it can/will happen, only Allah knows. ;)

p/s: that explains my infatuation of Christiano Ronaldo....hehehehe....

What you'll find here

Space to vent and to let out things that I can never share with any living things (human). I am not an animal person, so cat will not help ;p.

Personal experience and hopes, wishes and gratitudes and always reality that bites hard will be pen down and shared with anyone who cares to read.

Lavender is....

My photo
born Muslim and trying hard to live like one as well. overweight physically and have been trying since forever to loose weigtht. loner and eventhough with a group of friends, will not say much unless asked. never been the centre of attention (apart from my figure that really stoods out!!) never been in serious relationship before due to the fact that I am not pretty and fat and not friendly. having said that a really good fren and damn good supporter.