Sebagai penghargaan terhadap rasa kenegaraan yang membuak-buak semenjak 2-3 minggu ini, coretan ini akan ditulis dalam Bahasa Melayu.
Demam pilihanraya dah kembali dan kiri kanan jalan(dan rumah, restoran, masjid?,hentian bas dan pokok-pokok) kian dipenuhi pelbagai warna melambangkan betapa meriahnya rakyat Malaysia. Fenomena yang biasa dapat kita lihat selang 3-5 tahun. Pastinya sentimen dan fahaman politik makin menebal dalam sanubari kebanyakan warga Malaysia.
Aku akan menunaikan tanggungjawab buat pertama kali biarpun usia sudah menjangkau 27tahun. (Tahun 2004 tak sempat mendaftar, terlampau sibuk dengan hal duniawi yang lain..) Tatkala ini ramai yang menjadi pembanci tak rasmi dan mula menghakimi orang lain berdasarkan parti yang dipilih...Teman serumah ada jawapan yang amat bernas jika ditanya.."'Undi siapa?". dengan selamba dia menjawab..."Undi adalah rahsia...satu undi untuk negara.." :)
Minggu lepas aku terima mesej, bunyinya lebih kurang begini....
"P*S T*l*k Kemang is having a campaign to collect donation for the coming election.....bla..bla...bla..."
Lebih kurang macam itulah isi kandungannya, segera aku padam mesej itu, rasa agak meluat dan jelek pun ada. Dengan gaji tak seberapa dan bermacam tanggungan serta hutang keliling pinggang, aku tak akan sanggup untuk menyalurkan hasil titik peluhku ke situ. Bukanlah aku benci sangat dengan kumpulan orang-orang itu, tetapi perjuangan mereka yang tidak pernah menampakkan hasil dan kadangkala hujah-hujah yang tidak berasas. Tidak perlu aku bincang dengan lebih lanjut...
Detik-detik begini banyak menguji sejauh mana yakinnya kita pada pemimpin yang kita, makin hari, makin banyak hasutan-hasutan dan racun yang mula menggoyah pendirian. Bagi aku, setakat ini aku puas dengan apa yang ada. Sebagai salah seorang yang tak putus-putus hidupnya dibantu oleh subsidi, aku bersyukur dan harapnya keadaan tak akan berubah.
Sentimen ini begitu kuat kerana mengenangkan jika tiada BKP (biasiswa kecil persekutuan), aku mungkin tidak cukup kelengkapan untuk belajar. Bantuan Makanan Bulanan yang kami terima dari Baitulmal tiap-tiap bulan membolehkan kami sekeluarga makan seperti orang lain (walaupun hari-hari makan ikan sardin...) Jika benar masalah rasuah bagai dikata, bantuan sedimikian tidak akan berterusan selama lebih 10 tahun...renung-renungkan. Susah nak mempertahankan kerajaan yang dibelenggu rasuah pada tahap serius...contoh terdekat lihat Indonesia. Jika dibuat perbandingan, sekali lagi rasa bersyukur timbul...
Aku akui, kerajaan kita tidaklah bersih bagai dikata...cuba cari, manakah kerajaan di dunia kini yang 100% bersih?? Brunei yang kononnya 'Islamic' pun ada 'jerangkung dalam almari' (terjemahan langsung dari peribahasa Inggeris...;)
Untung nasibku pada 1998 dan 1999 PTPTN mula diperkenalkan, jikalau tidak aku pasti susah untuk melanjutkan pelajaran ke IPTA. IPTS apatah lagi..tak terdaya aku nak membayar yuran bulanannya yang melebihi anggaran perbelanjaan makanku untuk setahun...
Banyak janji-janji pihak P*S dan sekutunya untuk memansuhkan pembayaran balik pinjaman tersebut....di manakah logiknya? hapuskan tol? hapuskan cukai? Dari mana akan datangnya pendapatan negara? Bagaimana nak melaksanakan rancangan pembangunan?
Walaupun aku tidaklah sehebat mana mendalami ilmu agama, tapi dalam Islam tidak pernah menggalakkan umatnya sampai begitu ekstrem.
Masih banyak ruang untuk pembangunan dalam kerajaan yang sedia ada dan kepercayaanku masih teguh bahawa mereka akan terus memacu pembangunan negara.
Oh ya.. terlupa lagi satu sentimen yang kerap dimainkan...jangan undi orang bukan Islam, tandanya bersekutu dengan orang kafir..hhmmm...Ahli Parlimenku seorang berbangsa Cina dan bilik gerakannya hanya di depan blok rumah flet aku. (Percaya atau tidak, bilik gerakan ini berfungsi setiap masa...walaupun bukan musim pilihanraya...)
Keluarga kami tiada pertalian dengan mana-mana Pegawai Gred A kakitangan kerajaan..jadi bayangkanlah tika nak memohon ke mana-mana (sekolah berasrama, IPTA dan macam-macam hal lagi..) cop pegawai gred A amatlah bernilai...dan saat-saat itu, fungsi Ahli Parlimen dan Wakil Rakyat amat ketara. Walau kecil (hanya cop dan tandatangan) dan masa yang amat singkat dicurahkan..(tak sampai 30 minit untuk satu-satu urusan..), jasanya amat aku dan adik beradik hargai...sungguh!!!
Ramai yang tidak sedar akan perkara sekecil begini kerana majoriti dan kebanyakan orang ada 'saudara' atau kawan ayah dan sebagainya untuk selesaikan urusan sekecil itu. Nasib orang yang berbeza dan itu membuatkan aku lebih bersyukur...
Jadi, jika aku terus memilihnya untuk berkhidmat di kawasanku, adakah aku akan dikategorikan sebagai bersubahat dengan orang kafir?? Aku tak pandai dalam ilmu agama dan banyak lagi yang perlu aku dalami untuk menjawab pada hujah ini. Tapi buat masa ini, aku akan tetapkan pendirian untuk buat apa yang patut dan 'fit for purpose' (yang ini sukar untuk diterjemah??tolong.....)
Jadi, keputusannya, marilah mengundi...atau tidak, tepuk dada, jangan tanya selera, tanya akal. Jika anda rasa tak sanggup 'bersekongkol' dengan orang kafir....faham-faham sahajalah...Jika itu tidak menjadi isu...pilihlah dengan bijak!!! :)
SELAMAT MENUNAIKAN TANGGUNGJAWAB SEBAGAI WARGA MALAYSIA!!
A friend's father just passed away yesterday morning. And another friend had stayed in hospital for 3 nights straight spending time with her sick father who is down with heart attack. I feel sad for them.
I feel sad for other ppl, but at the same time I wish it was me in their shoes. Yup, I want my old man dead. Cruel?ungrateful?rude? call me whatever you want. At this moment, hate is so under rated if I described my feelings to the old man.
What makes me so angry with him? He was, and still a drug addict BIG time!! he started using drugs (heroine and opium in this case) since before he met my mother. They got married and still the habit did not dies...Later my sister was born and he was still on drugs. When I was born, he's still on drugs...After my younger sister hits 3-4 yrs old he was caught and sent to Rehab.
My mom who actually earn the living that time. Throughout our lives, there has too many occasion that the police comes to the house, take him away. Or he just dissapeared for days and 2 weeks later we found out that he is already sent to some rehab.
He had also did his time because of variuos offense. I believed he was even once a snatch thief!!! It was 4-5 years back, when he was released from prison, we the sisters decided that we are not going to bother about him anymore. Enough is enough, we did not speak to him, basically giving him the cold treatment. We are tired, but my mom is the guardian angel to him. She always and always took care of him, and willing to receive him no matter what he has done. We are so SICK.
To make things worst, she is on his side. We are accused as the rude ones, Words just cannot describe how much hate do we have for him. I will despise him for the rest of my life. At least that's what I feel for quite some time already.
If I were to write about all the things that he did and all the instances that we fought with mom just because of him, this post won't end. 2-3 years back, I prayed for him to die, so that WE can rest in peace. At the age of 57 he is still on drugs. Who in this goddamn earth at that age cares about drugs anymore???He is sneaky, pretending that he didn't do it, but we have lived too long with an addict. We can spot one once we see it.
For now I am just praying for patience for me and my sisters to go through the days whilst tolerates with both him and mum. Deep inside I wish him DEAD, but I don't pray for it anymore.
YA ALLAH....guide us, give us patience to deal with this...amin.....
I have few groups of friends. First, the one in high school.We were classmate in Form 1 and parted ways later on but still friendship remains till today. One of us is always the consistent one trying to get ppl together and I would try my best effort to attend. I am glad to join, and sometimes I came up with a plan as well.
Second one is my uni friend, even this I have two groups. One that I study with (i.e classmate) and another is the one I live with. I am quite close with both. There are 10 in the 'classmate' group. They live close to one another while I lived in different part of the campus. When we graduated I did not really see them any more. having said that, I do try to schedule a time to meet but always the case that they won't even come to KL to meet me. I am supposed to be the one that goes to Shah Alam, or any other place to meet them. I have heard of some of them jalan-jalan kat KL (Times Square and such...). You know its just freaking 20 minutes from my place!!! Even now I will still try to meet them in Shah Alam. I have never demanded to meet them in KL coz I know that they'll give tonnes of excuses...busy..bla..bla..KL is far...bla..bla...
The second group is the one I live with. Since we belong to the same batch of this particular extra curricular activities, we have to live together. There are if I am not mistaken 30 girls in one batch. I am OK with most of them and quite close with a few. For this group I feel belong to. Some of them has been to my house. Mind you, we took 2 buses and it is a long journey from Shah Alam considering the traffic and all....when we graduated, I did organise quite a few things just to get ppl together.
Last year, I think I have organised all the trips to some of the girl's kenduri. I did not missed even one. But always happens that I put the effort of initiating things, and then asking them to come, some answered. For those who did not answer...ask again...and again...Everything is not firm untill last minute canceled because they have something....Not all are like that but it is damn frustrating!!! I double and sometimes triple, quadraple confirm their attendance!!!!
There is also few ppl that NEVER showed up to any of the trip, main excuse is work!!! are you going to work around the clock? None---not a single activities that they join. If you do not wish to be in the circle anymore, just let me know, and I'll remove you from the mailing list. Coming March, there will be another kenduri and I am organising, except that this time I only extend to those that I know will attend.
Can I just delete the number of those that never responded or never showed up? As long as I have the number, I'll still forward the invitation to them and end up I feel irritated. Tell me is it so hard to make time to meet your friend?? Am I that worthless to you? And is it worth it to have this kind of friend anyway????
.......p(*0*)q.........
My name consist of two words but I have always let ppl call me by the second name which is **ita. When I met new ppl, always introduce myself as whole **ita. Even among friends they'll call me the same. Only some called me **. Not really many ppl call me ita. This is probably because my roommate in uni is also called ita, so that is just to distinguished between the two of us.
Having spent the last weekend watching DVDs all day long, I have watched an Indonesian movie titled Selamanya (Forever). The leading lady's name was Aristha and was called 'Tha' for short. There is also another movie Ada Apa Dengan Cinta and the heroine was called 'Ta' for short as well.
Sounded incomplete but to me it sounds special...it was said that calling ppl with a one syllable makes u feel closer to them. There is one person that I can recall called me by 'Ta', a classmate whom too lazy to pronounce the whole name ;p
Also there are few ppl that called me *ita, this one makes me feel special too as that name reminds me of celebrities ;)
Well I still like simple 'Ta' the most, but so far none of the ppl that close to me or at least in my circle that call me by that. Waiting for that special someone to call me by the name.
........m(_ _)m......
Call me a dumbass or what, finally gets to publish my second post in this page ;) I failed last time with the same blog. I am IT blind though..hehehe..actually do have a lot of free time for this CNY weekend since I am stuck here, on duty.
Spend the last two days watching the VCD set of Full House (Korean version) and crying miserably for the fact that I am still single and nobody wants me. Even people who likes each other findings difficulties to express themselves, let alone me whom I have never found ANYONE who likes me.
Happy for my second post..hehehe....
....\(^o^)/......smiling all the way......
Tempted to see my writings in new form, set up new blog in blogspot. Already has one account before but forgotten the password and username. Actually I have a friendster account and so happen also a blog, however blogspot gives better look to the post and no harm trying one.
Am trying to have a split personality, means whatever I posted in Friendster blog won't link to this blog and vice versa. Why do I need to do this? Simply because I am hiding lotsa stuffs and trust me am good at that. None of my friends knows it and would like to keep it that way. Why do I set up this account? I need an outlet to all the things that I have been keeping to myself and writing is the only way that I can let it out.
