This morning I drove down from KL at 4.30 am. Reached PD around 5.40 am. Just in time for Suboh, and afterwhich I fall asleep. I must admit now that the place I sleept the soundest is on my own bed, in my own room. Not in the living room in front of TV in Cheras or in SP. Right here in PD in my rented home.
Somehow I had a dream. It was vague and surreal, but I remember telling myself in the dream, lets see if this is a dream. I was getting prepared to get married, am in the middle of doing my make up. There is another person that is getting married at the same time and she was almost done with her make up. I know whom I'm getting married with, Tuan Abu Zahrin, its super duper weird, I might have a crush on him but is is weird. I have not seen him for the past 8 years. He is probably married with 2-3 kids in tow now. However in that dream, I don't see him anywhere.
My make up session took like forever and somehow the make up artist left me unfinished. I picked up all the appliances, and went after her, but still my make up is not done yet. In the end, I just did not get married.
I woke up at 9 something, already late for my work. By right it is not advisable to sleep after Suboh, that's when the demon/satan starts playing with your subliminal mind and imagining stuffs.
Things that I took away from this dream are:
Its all just a dream.
I have come to terms of not getting married.
All I hope is that Allah gives me enough strength to be alone. No matter how hard it would be, how lonely my days would go by, how cold the night can be and how much I long for a companion. I wish that I can go through it all alone.
Dunia ni sementara sahaja. InsyaAllah, aku akan dipertemukan jodoh, kalau tak di dunia, di akhirat InsyaAllah...rasanya di situ lebih manis.
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say what you want to say but i'll still do as i want ;)