Am on second day of period.
I missed half day work yesterday.
I came to work today and ditch 2 meetings on the ground that am not feeling well.
Have been blog-hopping since morning and only looked at 1 out of many many other issues that I am accounted for.
And now updating this blog just to show how lazy am I and how irresposible I have become.
I could not focus and certainly my pain is not helping either....
Mad at myself but put no effort to be better, damn ME.....
-FIN-
Ya Allah....
Malas gila nak kerja, for this week I only had 2 productive days. Today I attended a very lengthy meeting and by after lunch I kinda drained. Not that I contribute much anyway. Now waiting for 5.30, I need to go in for this 'thing' roll out and which I'll end up doing the work anyway...
Malasssssss.......gila.......ari ni gaji masuk, wanted to eat something lavish, but after the health check last week, my glucose level on the high side. Dr warned me to be extra careful since both my parents are diabetic. And I have not even test my cholestrol level yet. That one, sure am high, just how high, I don't know.
Actually had plan to meet Chien Nee on Sat, but she bailed me out. She have some last minute work related stuffs to do. So I brought forward plan to bring mum to IKEA. Seriously, no motivation to work for the rest of the day.....jahat kan? Tak bersyukur..I know..but I have let the devil overtake me today and the fact that I am writing this from the office doesn't help either right???
I have been having off and on headache since uni days. Those days it was so bad that I can barely open my eyes. Nowadays it would come and go as often as it likes.
First diagnosis was I have not been wearing my specs religiously, so I started wearing more often. The headache got better. But now it comes back and only to one part of the head. It comes sometimes with my menstrual cycle. I hate to take the meds, as it will distrupt my cycle and my body feels uncomfortable. So in the end I have to endure the pain.
I don't really feel like going to the doctor, I went before, they just said its stress related and simply gave me panadol-which I can buy from any grocery store. I just hope that its nothing dramatic like brain cancer or what, migraine is bad enough. Now I don't know what to do. Praying hard its nothing serious but maybe if the pain in unbearable anymore, I might request for scan.
I hope by then it will not be too late as of my back pain situation.
I have issues. Tak tau kenapa I keep on landing my eyes on somebody who is married or already have plans to get married. Remember Azhani, yup, he's married.
I was on this fire training last Tues which involves BOMBA, and I laid my eyes to this one particular guy, not bad looking though. One thing I notice immediately that he has the 'ring' confirm dah kahwin. After lunch we had the tour on ship and somehow we spoke a bit. I think he started off because as visitor of course he is curious to find out how we operates. So yes, we spoke a bit and I don't even know his name.
And there was the other guy,Capt Aziz, I just like the way he speaks. Looking at him, probably he's in mid-30's and married. He doesn't spoke perfect English (which I always like) but somehow I like to hear him speak. Not that I have spoken to him. Something about the way he speaks that does not annoys me. I get annoyed very easily, mind you.
And today is the actual exercise, and I thought I would never meet that BOMBA guy again, but who knows we had a de-brief session and I was kinda checking out to find if he was there. I only managed to see him after everything is finished and I was leaving the sports club. I only took a glance at him and then took off. Enough, I have had that one look and its enough. Lebih karang dosa pulak, laki orang tu...
Why la must I keep on laying my eyes on someone else's husband where in actual fact I hates infidelity, polygamy and everything that comes with it.
Ya Allah, spare me all this feeling. Give me strength to move on. Alone.
p/s: I blame my hormone for all this inappropriate thoughts
Am having my menstrual cycle - on 3rd day already but the pain is still there. Yesterday I was in this fire fighting course, the only lady. No one to talk to, tak ada tempat mengadu for my pain. I won't be discussing about period pain with guys!!!.
And today I still could not do any work that involves thinking. I was bloghopping all morning and enviing (is there any such word?) to all these people that lives outside Malaysia, jealous sgt2. Darn...I can't even finish my work, lagi nak berangan dok oversea. Kerja pon malas, how??
Its still hurting and I could not leave coz I have meeting after lunch but I still could not get anything done..I hate this...
Reminder: Ni semua ujian Allah..sabaq byk2 k?
Past few days there has been heated family feud. Emails were flying around between me and my younger sister, the one that created mess #1 for this year
from me to her:
Assalamualaikum,
Al- Faatihah
[1] Dengan nama Allah, Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.
[2] Segala puji tertentu bagi Allah, Tuhan yang memelihara dan mentadbirkan sekalian alam.
[3] Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.
[4] Yang Menguasai pemerintahan hari Pembalasan (hari Akhirat).
[5] Engkaulah sahaja (Ya Allah) Yang Kami sembah, dan kepada Engkaulah sahaja kami memohon pertolongan.
[6] Tunjukilah kami JALAN YANG LURUS.
[7] Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau telah kurniakan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan (jalan) orang-orang yang Engkau telah murkai, dan bukan pula (jalan) orang-orang yang sesat.
Tak tau bila hang nak buka mail ni, tapi kakcik dah tak larat nak cakap, dah letih nak nasihat. Nak kata tak pandai, SPM 8A, masuk U lagi, tapi tak tahu nak pikiaq masa depan. Sikit pon xda rasa kesian kat mak yang susah payah beranak, besaqkan kita adik beradik dulu. tak kesian langsung kat anak hang.
Kalau orang cakap hang tak pikiaq anak, hang marah, tapi cuba renung balik , tgk balik perangai hang, lepas dari beranak kat Zahar.
Kalau hang betul pikiaq pasai anak hang, hang akan belajaq sungguh-sungguh, tak nak buat salah dah, tak nak orang pandang slack, hang akan usaha betul2. Pi kelas, buat assignment. Ini tak, sampai menyusahkan orang lain nak hantaq assignment tak bole sebab hang. Kalo dah nyusahkan orang, tak ka nanti orang menyumpah? tak berkat hidup kalau orang asyik menyumpah.
Apa masalah hang lagi? Zahar? mak jaga, duit susu dia, kcik dah kata akan bagi, sampai masa hang ambik la jaga anak hang, kakcik sikit pon x berkira ngan hang bab susu anak ni. La ni belajaq betul2 supaya bole bagi yang terbaik kat anak hang. Nampak sgt hang tak usaha nak bela anak hang elok2. Allah dah bagi peluang hang masuk universiti belajaq, hang kufur nikmat, dapat biasiswa pon tak bersyukur lagi, orang lain berapa ramai lagi yang tak dapat semua nikmat tu, hang asyik nak tgk orang yg lagi senang, cuba pikiaq pasai org susah, kita ni Allah sayang sangat2!! kalo x, xdala suma otak boleh tahan, bole dapat biasiswa la bantuan la, cuba pikiaq orang lain yg lagi susah...PIKIAQ BALIK!!!!
Hang jangan dok tenggelam dengan masalah hang, tu baru sikit, tapi suma dah settle, berzina , dapat anak luaq nikah pon, famili boleh terima lagi, siap dah kautim ngan sedara mara tak nak sorok anak hang. APA MASALAH HANG LAGI?????
Kalo mak buat perangai macam hang ni, dgn keadaan ayah yang lagu tu, ingat kita bole elok macam ni ka? Dah lama terbiaq macam anak arwah mak cik ani, hang tak pikiaq semua tu, hang pikiaq hang sorang ja ada masalah. Hang tak ingat Allah langsung, padahal Allah dah tolong hang banyak sangat!!!!!
La ni terpulang hang nak belajaq ka x, ada otak pikiaq sendiri. Cukup la kak sorang dok bagi mak susah hati dgn masalah dia yang tak habis2. Hang pon nak jadi macam dia ka? masalah x abih, masalah cari sendiri, Allah baru duga sikit dah tak tahan, akhirat esok macam mana?
Kutuk orang pandai, pikiaq la elok2. Masa depan hang ngan anak hang jugak. Kalo hang rasa kcik salah, buktikan.
Hang cuba bayangkan, hang graduate (habih belajaq) dengan budak2 kelas hang, pointer bagus, pastu waktu hari konvo, hang amik ijazah, sambil mak bawak Zahar pi tgk hang, hang tak nak ka jadi macam tu? dah ada jalan, usaha la , pikiaq la, pikiaq habih2!!!!
she replied:
suka aty kak cik la nak pikiq apa
budak sabah 2 ja yang kecoh
lagi 2 orang x ada apa2 pon
enset ila jatuh jamban
2 yang lost cntct
lgpon submission date ari jumaat 16 sept
bukan ila x wat keja lgsung
ila yang buat presentation sorang2
ila present sorang2
ila yang tentukan tajuk untuk term papper
ila yang cari bahan
ila dah buat overall...yang lain 2 just perincikan ja
minggu pas raya 2
budak sabah tu yang balik sabah x balik2 upm....
sbb tu r dia ingat ila x buat keja coz masa ila wat bnyk keja dia x ada
kenapa yang lg 2 orang 2 oK ja???
kak cik x taw apa jangan main tuduh ja
ila nak beli enset lain nanti kata ila belagak r!
enset yang ada ni bunyi skali terus mati
mcm mana nak communicate ngan org lain????
enset ila yang oK org lain pakai
nak mintak x sampai aty
pasal assignment 2
kalo kak cik x puas aty,,,
tanya lecturere ila sendiri..
antara group member ila ,
markah ila paling tinggi
erm...
kak cik ingat ila ni jenis nak susahkan group member??
kalau ila susahkan depa,,,
ila x present sorang2 r
kak cik jangan ingat ila ni x guna ja.....
suka hati kak cik la nak pikiq apa pasai ila ...
ila dah x larat nak layan karenah
kak cik ngan kak dik
la ni idop ila
ila yang tentukan
kalau ila nak lingkup pon,,,
sumpah ila x mintak tolong dah....
ila ni kan biawak hidop
anjing tersepit
so , ila x nak jadi mcm 2 dah
ila nak kena buang u pon kak cik x yah peduli...
kak cik jangan risau
yang JPA tu kalau kena buang pon
xkena bayaq
yang kena bayaq just bila kita tolak tawaran keja ngan kerajaan....
kalau ila bodoh sangat2 pon....
kalau ila fail 2 sem beturut2
kak cik x rugi sesebn pon
and my response were:
suka ati la nak buat apa, sampai 3 orang dok msg kat no lama tu, hang kata sorang ja, budak cina ada, bdk melayu pon ada, buat malu orang melayu ja, aku cabaq hang kalau betul hang dah insaf sem depan2 ni patut bole dapat 3.5, takat accounting ...budak UiTM belambak dapat 4.00!!!!!
ada masalah lari balik kat mak, bagi serabut mak, dah la mak sibuk jaga cucu, balik ntah tolong ka x, mesti mintak ayah amik kat tol, pastu nak kutuk ayah pulak.
she replied:
erm..
suka aty kak cik la nak cabaq ka apa
ila x nak sahut pon cabaran 2lts dah la ni
kalau bole berhenti...dah berhenti dah
ila x peduli kat resu
kalau ila kat uitm pon ila leh wat lebih...
tapi ila ja yang x nak
ila dah ckp ila nak guna hp ila kan??
napa x bagi balik???
depa cntct no lama coz no br x dpt nak cntct
x dpt bukak
hp ila rosak
memang r susah nak communicate
kak cik dah taw lagi xnak bagi balik phone ila , kenapa???/
yang adik 2 boleh pulak kak dik beli hp bagi
x perlu pon'
ni ila mintak balik phone sendiri balik pon x dpt
apa kes???????????????????
mcm mana org nak cntct ila kalau no ila x ley on???????
my final say:
hek ele..ckp waktu orang dah sampai pd, awat x habaq awal2, kalo hang respond email depa, xdala orang asik cari kat tepon beria-ia, nanti aku pos, x kebuloq la hp hang, aku x mintak, hang yang offer, sudahla...may Allah bless you. Amin.....
I admit that I was a bit harsh, I should have toned down a bit and be patience to deal with all of this mess. But its all said and done. I have seen such cases among my peers and nobody stands up to this kind of people and later the rest of the group are in trouble.
For now I am going to let go, let it all go, I have said my piece. At least one part is done, up to her to listen and buck up, I just don't care anymore. Sister or not. Its over. END
People around me starts doing Masters Degree already. I still stuck at my Bachelor Degree. I was browsing the net and suddenly feels the urge to check out Masters programme. I have been thinking about Energy for quite some time.
I must have a 5 years plan, and then the next 5 years. I know that one thing for sure I am planning to bring my parents for Haj in the next 3-5 years, insyaAllah..after that I have to strive for another milestone.
I have never been a planner in my life. I took one thing at a time. But it hits me, I have been wasting a lot of my time, whereas in fact I could have done more. Hence, comes this post. So in about 6 years my car debt is going to be paid. I have no plans to buy new car. So by 2009 + 6, 2015 I will be free of car debt and hopefully at that time dah pegi Haji, insyaAllah.
Haji plan : Total needed RM45000 for 3 ppl,
Savings : RM 500 per month
Time needed : 7.6 years. I have been saving for 2 years now. So another 5 years, and my money is enough. (will be faster if I put in my bonus ~RM 5000 for 2010 and 2011)
My current housing loan, will be paid in full comes 2007+20, 2027. Well, actually I can have the window in 2015, if by that time I am able to save enough money and only rely on interest to pay up my monthly expenses. I figured that I will need at least RM2500-RM3000 per month for home loan, mom+dad expenses + maintenance.
So by calculating backwards, if the interest rate is 3%, I must have at least RM 100,000 in my saving. This will be a true case if I hit a jackpot, which means I get an expat job and work hard for 3 years.
Currently I have no savings at all. I can only start saving after World Cup 2010. This is considering I abandoned all my renovation works. So, say I only have 6 months + 5 years = 66 months to get RM 100,000. I would have to set aside RM1500.00. Which is reasonable though, coz I already allocated RM 1500 for reno every month. Hmmm...now I think my plan can work.
But then I am considering to buy another house. So if at all I have pay increament, then I can have the budget for another house.
So now I have to stick to my plan. There isn't likely I will pay for anybody's kenduri now, and certainly not my own. InsyaAllah. The plan is to save RM1500 each month from July 2010 until end 2015 and then plan for my own Master or PhD, preferably outside Malaysia, Master in Energy.
I am not planning to quit Shell, take sabbatical leave and do various job to earn a living while taking Master and PhD, insyaAllah...I think I can work this out. Not bad eh? since I only started working in 2005, so I can say that I gain myself a 10 years experience and then allow myself a time off to do things for myself which in this case, my masters Degree :)
Ya Allah, please give me the strength to follow through with my plan...InsyaAllah.
p/s: This is as far as the planning goes, lets cross the bridge when we get there ok?
This morning I drove down from KL at 4.30 am. Reached PD around 5.40 am. Just in time for Suboh, and afterwhich I fall asleep. I must admit now that the place I sleept the soundest is on my own bed, in my own room. Not in the living room in front of TV in Cheras or in SP. Right here in PD in my rented home.
Somehow I had a dream. It was vague and surreal, but I remember telling myself in the dream, lets see if this is a dream. I was getting prepared to get married, am in the middle of doing my make up. There is another person that is getting married at the same time and she was almost done with her make up. I know whom I'm getting married with, Tuan Abu Zahrin, its super duper weird, I might have a crush on him but is is weird. I have not seen him for the past 8 years. He is probably married with 2-3 kids in tow now. However in that dream, I don't see him anywhere.
My make up session took like forever and somehow the make up artist left me unfinished. I picked up all the appliances, and went after her, but still my make up is not done yet. In the end, I just did not get married.
I woke up at 9 something, already late for my work. By right it is not advisable to sleep after Suboh, that's when the demon/satan starts playing with your subliminal mind and imagining stuffs.
Things that I took away from this dream are:
Its all just a dream.
I have come to terms of not getting married.
All I hope is that Allah gives me enough strength to be alone. No matter how hard it would be, how lonely my days would go by, how cold the night can be and how much I long for a companion. I wish that I can go through it all alone.
Dunia ni sementara sahaja. InsyaAllah, aku akan dipertemukan jodoh, kalau tak di dunia, di akhirat InsyaAllah...rasanya di situ lebih manis.
Raya is done, kenduri is out of the way. My CC debt is mounting up. I don't have enough cash. This week, in order to service my car, I have to exchange some leftover AUD that I have. Nasib baik ada..kalo tak I could not service my car, and who knows what happens next.
I have been feeling restless this past few day. Penat sangat, attended open house almost everyday. Got back at around 10~ish. I could not sleep until 12 or 1 am. So in the end I woke up late and turn up at work late. Twice this week I have to park outside the main office as the result of coming later than 9am.
I will be having full week again this week and next, when in fact I really need sound rest, undisturbed weekend with no driving around and chores to do. Well I will have it, the week I will be on duty. I can just stay here in PD and do nothing. Probably go for a massage if I have the extra budget.
Letih...seriously I am beat up, I need a break, not a getaway or what, just a pause for a while.. If only I can have it.....
Assalamualaikum, how are you?
By the time you read this probably dah raya ke berapa ntah. Takpela, janji wish jugak, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Aku nak mintak maaf andai ada terkasar bahasa, tersilap kata dan semua yang 'ter' la...
Remember there was one time that I said, I probably won't be contacting you again, if I have found 'the one'?. Well I did. Aku tak pernah terfikir, tapi once I realise, He was there all along, irregardless aku ingat Dia ke tak. Mungkin apa yang aku cakap ni agak lapuk, Allah ada bersama-sama kita setiap masa. And this Ramadhan, I concluded, He's the one. I am not going to wait for any other human being, but rather give myself completely to Allah.
Kat sini (I mean here in the office) we had few programs during Ramadhan, which include discuss pasal tafsir Al-Quran, discuss detail sirah Rasulullah and also tazkirah during Solat Jumaat. These sort of things make me realise, kecilnya aku di bumi Allah ni....banyak sangat nikmat yang aku tak bersyukur.
Jadi aku decide, segala luahan hati sepatutnya hanya pada Allah, kita sesama manusia tak ada daya nak tolong manusia lain melainkan dengan izin Allah, so why waste the direct contact that we have with Allah and set our hopes high with a mere mortal.
I may not be writing to you as much as I do right now. In case you are wondering how am I doing, I have alternate blog, dah tak update frenster blog,
http://xxxxyyyyy.blogspot.com/
Last but not least, take care ;)
Wassalam..
I watched this movie last night, and it reminds me a lot about Shahrul. I know there is no freaking chance that I will be with him, unless Allah says so. But I could not stop missing him and all the memories that we have together, it might not be much but its enough for me to live my life and know how bad it hurts to be in unrequinted love.
This Ramadhan I prayed for many things, one of which for Allah to erase all this feeling to be with somebody, this longing to be loved by someone or this desire for companionship. To have it all wiped off my heart and mind for as long as I can remember, that is unless Allah decides to send someone for me. I will pray for a soulmate but until then I hope I can annihilate all this feelings, until then.......
I have been wanting to write this for quite some time. This has been really challenging to me and my family. I pity my mom the most. Let me tell you why.....
First it was my younger sister, she just turn 20 this year and sometime in March, we found out that she was 6 months pregnant out of wedlock. We were furious and sad, we found out by accident, her uni coach called back home and reported she has been missing training for quite some time. The whole family gathered and approached the guys family and asking for them to be married. Not that I keen on giving my sister to him. I was thinking about the unborn child. The baby will have no father's name on the birth cert, and that would be very shameful. We managed to get the married end April and my sister delivered a baby boy last June.
Now they baby stays in SP with my parents as my sister still have to finish her degree. That is mess #1 for this year. We are having the kenduri come September, but not sure how to explain the presence of then would be 3 months + baby to the rest of the relatives.
Mess # 2 is caused by my older sister and her f**k up husband. I am implicating both, am not saying that my sister is framed or victimised or what, she is equally messed up as well. They both got married in 2005 after knowing each other only like 1 year. He (the hubby) starting to show how irresposible he is by letting my sis did all the house work. Never once that I saw he helped her, and she (my sis) treated him as if he is GOD...(please!!)
Many things happened for the last 3-4 years that makes me question his credibility as good husband and a good father (he did not qualify for any). After series of drama, my sister called my mom last month and said that she is getting a divorce. All of my siblings are relief that she finally have some sense. (too much things to mentioned that makes us support her decision. She asked me to send she and her kids back to SP. I did as asked. Her so called beloved hubby has been neglecting child support for quite some time and didn't even bother to give any money for the kids formula and diapers. They have three kids mind you. What kind of father does not care about the kids food? A messed up one, I say. He also have been owing money from the rest of us for various reason. The last estimate was RM 1500 or so that he owes from me and my other sister.
To top it all, last Saturday I received a call by this 'money lender' claiming that both of them borrowed money and failed to make the payment. We know that it is one of the legal 'along'. I asked my mom to interrogate her and she denied doing that. I don't trust her, the 'along' who called me said that they both went to borrow the money but since the hubby's name can no longer be used (Allah knows how much has he own these poeple), they borrowed under my stupid sister's name, and she has some guts giving our home phone no as reference!!!. Today, the 'along' drop by the house when my youngest sis came back from school and tried to look for both of them.
I will do all I can to hunt the f**k up BIL. I know he will not have any money to pay me or the along or buy his kids food but I want to see him anyway, just to give a piece of my mind.
You,
I don't know who you are yet, and am not sure whether I will ever find you. Looking around, I see many couples and I would really love to feel what they are feeling. Do what they do, some more than others. Listing down here things that I would love to / wish that you do for me..hehehe...
I'll keep on adding to the list as I move along....
Assalamualaikum,
The other day was your birthday, and I sent you that song. It tells exactly what I feel inside. Your birthday is exactly 2 weeks apart from mine and I think that is why we remembered each other’s so much. Not a single year that you fail to wish me and I felt compelled to do the same to you.
We belong to the same zodiac, Cancer and that is why we got along well those days. We both understand each other, being in ROTU in our diploma years. Although you were in Navy and I was in Army, we both understand what is it like to juggle between both civilian and military life. We even took the same degree and not sure why, I was always open to help you, never said no, not even once I think.
As close as we used to be, it is surprising that we never went out together, not a date, just go out, have dinner or drinks together. I never demanded any of those and allowed you to treat me as you like. I thought we could be friends for life, I figure at some point I will need a man in my life and you will be there. I have never clicked with anyone the way I did with you. Even now, no one comes close, really. I would probably need your manly views, manly advice or any manly pep talk that would help me through my daily life.
But it all ended the moment we take our own ways. I started working and you never wanted to see me again. I remember the last time we met was in April 2006 when I showed you my offer letter. After that we only connect virtually. You never made it even once to my attempts to see you. I was very sad, really I am. I could not stop feeling sad until today, so that is why when I listen to this song, I felt it even more.
That is why I started all this no reply crap, I still wanted to talk to you, once in a while, but I have a feeling you no longer needed me as a friend. Be as it may, I will still be talking to you until I found the one that I can talk to the way I talk to you. So if one you stop hearing from me, it can either be that I have found the one or I am dead (sorry to put it so bluntly).
Till next time, take care.
14th July 2009
Assalamualaikum,
Hope you are doing fine. Don't know why but this is my song of the day.
Happy Birthday, may Allah bless you and everything that you do.
ONE DAY IN YOUR LIFE
One day in your life
You'll remember a place
Someone touching your face
You'll come back and you'll look around, you'll . . .
One day in your life
You'll remember the love you found here
You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me nowI will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day . . .
One day in your life
When you find that you're always waiting
For a love we used to share
Just call my name, and I'll be there
You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me nowI will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day . . .
One day in your life
When you find that you're always lonely
For a love we used to share
Just call my name, and I'll be there
My replacement is coming in next week. Somebody internal so not really a new person. Can't wait to pass the big bulk to him. To get to this point, it was not easy, a lot of political things has been going on but anyhoo...am glad. Although my future job is way to tough for me to handle but I will try my best :)
Written today:
Assalamualaikum w.b.t,
How are you? Hope you are doing fine. Topic of the day, marriage,kids, and things that grown ups do. Not sure whether you remember one of my squad, panther, she gave birth to a baby boy last week. Ina classmate kita pon dah deliver baby boy jugak (I think!!) awal bulan hari tu.
Shasha mesti ko ingat kan? (yg cute mesti la ingat ;p ) she's pregnant too, and due probably November kot.. Dah lepas dah zaman attend weddings, ni zaman nak melawat orang bersalin pulak. Even my ex roomate pon dah pregnant.
You know what? even many people in the office are getting into parenthood this year. When I first join last 3 years, there were few young guys and girls (including me). To date tinggal sorang je of the guys yang tak kahwin lagi, and none of the girls that have tied the knot. Trend ke? We are seeing more single woman nowadays. I'm sure that you probably have some of your girl friends yang sampai sekarang tak kahwin2 (me one of them).
Is it so hard to get married nowadays? financial aside, yes it is hard. I got in this in my inbox, forwarded by some girlfrens,
Top reasons why ladies today are still single??
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have No money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men, who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
‘Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.'
betul tak? many of it makes sense though...
If I was given a choice, what kind of man do I want? First off mestila somebody that like me or tolerate me the way I am. Bold enough to say, "Yes I like this fat and not so beautiful woman because of the way she is" (which I think nobody is that crazy to say that)
Ideally I would want:
1. Mualaf : He is probably more willing to practice Islam than those yang dah originally born Muslim (plus xyah rebut nak balik raya....;)
2. Anak yatim: ni pun senang nak balik raya (x yah rebut-rebut), and can avoid all the mak mentua saga ;p
3. Arkitek : so that he can build me a home that I design, where we would spend the rest of our life together....(macam Rashidi Ishak dalam CINTA) --> berangan x ingat!!
So if you think you have a friend that meets the criteria above, let me know..hehehe..:) Sure susah gile nak cari combination camni (name pon ideal list..) but truthfully speaking, asalkan dia terima aku seadanya dan sayang aku kerana Allah pon dah cukup baik.
Probably I'm going to umrah 15 Jun ni, pegi sorang je, tumpang mahram sape pon xtau.
Oklah, lain kali cite lagi k. Take care
Assalamualaikum...
It's been quite some time since I last updated here. I actually found another way to vent. Used to be I sat with Shahrul in front of my college bus top and we will be talking like for hours almost about anything. He is the only one that listened to all my ramblings. Not even my roommate do that. Probably I was not pushy enough. Life has never revolves around me and I always let other people speak. And he, Shahrul was among the one that made me feel heard.
He has flaws of course, when we were no longer classmates, he disappeared and never wanted to see me no matter how or when I asked. We still keeps in touch via frenster and facebook. I somehow deleted him off, because I do not want to feed his narcissism by being on his friends list and he never wants to meet me. In the end I wrote an email to him. Below would be my strings of mail to him and latest was sent today;
26th Oct 2008:
Assalamualaikum w.b.t,
If you are reading this, please do me a favour, NEVER reply. This is just one of my escapes and outlet for me to vent out some of the things that has been going on in my life lately. Not sure why but I missed the days that we used to talk for hours at the bus stop and not care about anything. You are the only person that I can talk for hours without reservation, suprised? me too.
Its OK if you did not remember then, this is after all meant for one way communication from me to somebody whom I would never see again for whatever reason.
Am in the middle of a workshop, will write to you later.
Me
07th Nov 2008:
Assalamua'laikum wbt..
How are you? Hope you are doing fine. Its been a hectic few weeks for me. Believe it or not, for the first time since I work, I am broke. mean seriously broke. This morning I checked my account, it only has RM90, and since I took out 30 for prepaid, I have only 60 to live with until end of the month!!! its only first week of the month.
You may wonder, how do I get to such stage. Well for a start, it was Raya , hence my spending just went on top of the roof!! Not sure whether you know this or not, but I bought a house for my mother in Kedah. All the while we were living in rented house in KL. Finally I can get a place to call our own. So after that my spending mostly goes to renovating the house and furnishing it. I am in the middle of decorating and haven't even start furnishing yet, my entire ASB in finished and I am living by the bills each month. Not to mentioned my credit card bill...my goodness, I would have never thought to be in this kind of position....
Whatever it is I have to suck it up and move on...
Enough about my financial status, last weekend I had a BBGS reunion!! I was one of the organiser ;) and we did a great job!! After 10 years, we managed to gather some of our friends and have lotsa fun together..it was tiring but we are satisfied that things went well ;) One fact though...37% of us are still single :p hahaha....I am not alone then.
Okla.. I think I have done enough rambling for today, till we meet again in next mail, take care :) and reminder do not ever reply ok?
Selamat solat Jumaat, jangan ponteng :)
Me
20th Nov 2008:
Assalamualaikum,
Am still at work, my boss just went back. Today is his last day. He's going to Mekah for Hajj. While saying goodbye, he sort of jokingly asking whether I would want him to pray for me. I say pray for what? He said..you know...ala..you know...oohh.. only then I realised...that..I said up to you.
Not sure whether you get what I mean, but guess nowadays most of the people that I know is praying for me in that sense. Many people do care, its just not the time yet. Allah knows best.
And now I could not stop crying because I'm so touched. Insyaallah, hopefully what he'll pray for me will be granted.
You take care...
Me
26th Feb 2009:
Assalamualaikum w.b.t,
Ya Allah..time flies, and it has been a while since I've written to you. How are you? hope things are good? Sebenarnya skarang tgh busy sesangat, tapi entah camne malas gile...appraisal result came out last week and it was not that good for me. Partly because aku sendiri yang slacking off. Tapi I think I did good enough in some parts. Biase la dunia, we have our ups and downs.
Am still in my old job, and for here is considered very slow movement....I had a chance last year but I blew it away, wrong timing, wrong approach plus there is one backstabbing person that get the job. So senang cite, xde rezeki la...
You know what, I have this mindset orang Johor jahat, not going to apologise, just my opinion. Based on what I have seen and things that has been happening around me, I inclined to say that. And the fact that this backstabbing bitch is from Muar, doesn't help either. Well...adela orang Johor yang baik, cam Ekin ngan Azs, and few others. But somehow I've been hurt by more orang Johor compared to other states...kebetulan ke? Tak taula...
Some update, Ina, classmate kite time DIC tu, dah pregnant, due May ni, Yus dah tunang, insyaAllah nikah end June, Azs kat Sabah sekarang, jadi cikgu pra sekolah, rasenye Nisah pon dah pregnant, tp x sure due bile, dah x contact sgt dah skarang...
Aku? cam ni jugak la, still struggling to make ends meet.
Till next time :)
Wassalam.
I will keep on writing to him, each time will post it here as well.
p/s: He's a Johorian--form Kota Tinggi
